If you’ve lived with an addict, you probably have caught them in a lie every once so often. It could be that they missed school due to an illness, or they resigned while they just got fired, or even they needed money for a quick emergency all the while you were just funding their junkie sprees.
But everything has an expiration date – lies included. While the truth process tends to be disappointing, it often causes mistrust and destroys relationships between loved ones.
It may also breed some paranoia when dealing with individuals with a drug use history and prompt one to think – is lying a symptom of addiction?
But worry not, in this blog we’ll equip you with a biological lie detector, unleashing some of the common lies addicts use to get their way.
Although we can’t exhaust the list – some get very creative – we’ll attempt to help you understand the million-dollar question ‘Why do drug addicts lie about everything?’
Psychological factors behind addiction and deceit
When it comes to understanding why addicts lie about everything, unveiling the psychological factors behind this behavior is fundamental.
More often than not, it’s not just about hiding the truth but a complex overlap of chemical, mental, and emotional changes that drive this behavior.
The resulting attributes of these changes are what researchers’ term maladaptive behaviors – behaviors that serve to diminish life satisfaction and deter people from confronting their discomforts.
For this reason, people turn to deception and addiction. Let’s discuss the psychological factors at play that trigger addictive behaviors and perpetuate a cycle of lying and deceit.
Peer pressure
Social influence is a powerful tool that influences a person’s behaviors and decisions subconsciously. While peer groups can be a source of emotional and social support, they can also encourage substance use disorders that may spiral into addictions.
Peer pressure can manifest in three forms namely:
- Direct peer pressure: This is the most common form where an individual is explicitly instructed on how to behave. For instance, when a colleague is handed a shot of whisky by their peers.
- Indirect peer pressure: This is when a person subtly and implicitly acts in line with the norms of a certain group due to perceived expectations. For instance, a student skipping class for a drinking spree just because it is within the norms of his peers and doesn’t want to be left out.
- Unspoken peer pressure: This is mere knowledge that a person should act in a certain way when they see others acting without explicit encouragement from their peers. It is even more subtle and emanates from an internal sense of expectation.
For instance, if a group of teenagers consistently lies to their parents about school attendance, an individual may also feel compelled to lie to fit in.
In most cases, peer pressure to lie or engage in substance use is followed by positive reinforcement from peers, encouraging the frequency of the behavior and dependency.
Experimentation
Openness to experimentation plays a significant role in propelling deceit and reinforcing drug dependency. It is the tendency to be willing to embrace new ideas and experiences with a sense of curiosity.
This desire may convict individuals to not only lie to others but to themselves that their substance use is controlled. Such self-deception is common among individuals high in openness.
Neuroticism
Neuroticism is a personality trait where an individual often tends to be emotionally unstable, anxious, highly irritable, and depressed, and fosters negative feelings.
Individuals struggling with this personality trait often turn to drugs as a coping mechanism or a means of self-medication.
They’re also more prone to leading deceitful lives to avoid accountability. Studies have revealed that high neuroticism is directly linked to deceptive behavior.
Impulse control disorders
Impulse control issues directly affect the behavioral patterns of individuals. People with poor impulse control may often turn to drugs for temporary relief from their anxieties, which in turn may trigger deceitful behavior to protect this habit.
According to research, high impulsivity is directly associated with neuroticism and behavioral dysregulation.
Why do people with addiction lie?
Other reasons why addicts lie besides the overlap of psychological factors include:
Fear of rejection and judgment
Human beings are social beings who require the warmth of social support throughout their lives. Despite battling addiction, addicts may live in the constant overwhelming fear of what may happen when the truth comes out.
This fear drives their manipulative behaviors to maintain a regular relationship with their families and friends.
The truth may lead to isolation, disappointments, and a damaged sense of self-worth before their families and friends. To an addict, admitting to an addicting may feel like admitting to being a failure.
For this reason, lying becomes a coping mechanism that helps them manage the fear of being rejected or judged.
Shame and guilt
Shame is the intense feeling of worthlessness and inadequacy while guilt is the feeling of regret or remorse over one’s actions or behaviors. These two emotions are interconnected with addiction.
Most people battling addiction struggle with accepting their conditions, often reevaluating how others may perceive them once they are discovered. Would they be held in the same respect? Would their loved ones still love them?
They may often feel like addiction defines their identity and therefore, opt to lie to conceal their predicament.
For some, it could be that they let their loved ones down and therefore would not want them to discover the truth. Not knowing that lying leads to a guilty conscience. Although they may harbor a desire to make amends, breaking free of addiction is not a one-and-done deal. It is a journey.
As they try to break free of the addiction, they often land in compounding lies in order to hide their shame and mask the guilt of relapse.
Denial
“I don’t have an addiction; I just fancy drinking occasionally.” Sounds familiar? This is a common phrase among addicts.
Hardly would any addict admit to themselves they have a substance use disorder and seek professional help. And if at all they, do it is often without considering the severity of this relapsing disorder.
Various reasons are attributable to addiction denial including:
- Believing that one is still in control of their substance use.
- Shame of admitting the existence of a substance use problem.
- Believing one is unique or different from the regular drug users who wind up as addicts.
- Enabling loved ones.
Additionally, denial is often accompanied by failed attempts to change one’s behavior pattern and avoid a relapse. As much as they admit there is an existing problem, they are deliberately developing coping strategies to maintain a blank check.
During this period, a relapse is seen as a failure and the addict often lies about their well-being and activities that facilitate their addiction.
Drug dependency and withdrawal
An addict’s life is dominated by their compulsion to use drugs. When one develops a physical dependence on a drug, their mind cycles around when their next ‘high’ will be.
Whether at work, school, or at home, they are constantly calculating for their next fix even if it means resorting to lies.
The fear of experiencing withdrawal symptoms can also compel one to fabricate stories of their need for money or justify their actions to cover up their drug sprees.
Withdrawal symptoms can range from acute anxiety and depression to seizures, intense cravings, muscle pain, and vomiting. The intensity of these symptoms depends on factors such as frequency of drug use, duration of drug use, and current physical well-being of the user, among others.
Avoid confrontation
Due to a lack of other well-developed coping mechanisms, addicts tend to lie to avoid confrontations with their families, friends, or colleagues.
Confrontation puts a strain on relationships and stirs up anxiety and fear, all of which an addict may not be willing and ready to deal with.
It is therefore easier to maintain a facade of normalcy by fabricating stories to keep their relationships from falling apart.
How to tell when an addict is lying
It’s now time to put on our detective badges and become lie detectors. How do you tell when addicts are lying? How can you sift through what is true and what isn’t?
Well, no need fret as we will uncover all tell tales told by addicts and the signs to look out for when dealing with one.
Signs to watch out for
- Inconsistency in their activities or events. It is often hard to keep up with many lies as one is likely to forget crucial details.
- Lack of eye contact when confronted or accounting for their behaviors.
- Vague explanations. If it seems too perfect or rehearsed it likely didn’t happen.
- Sudden changes in routine and behavior without logical cause.
- Deflecting, especially when talking about serious matters.
- Physical cues such as stammering, sweating, or trembling.
- Last but not least, always trust your gut.
Common lies addicts tell
- Claiming to be tired or sick when under the influence or experiencing withdrawal.
- Covering up for their whereabouts with vague excuses such as hanging out with friends, working late, or running errands in unusual hours.
- Downplaying their addictions with statements like “It’s not a big deal”, “It’s not that much”, “I don’t have a problem” or “I only use occasionally.”
- Claiming to be in control of their substance use. One of the most classical things you’d hear an addict say is “I can quit any time I want.”
- Some may repack their drug and lie they are prescription medication. “It’s just medications” or “I still need to manage the pain.”
It’s always important to check if a loved one is on any active prescription and how often it should be renewed. Beware of doctor shopping.
- Lying about getting stressed out at work or school and needing a break. “I need this for work” or “Work/school is intense.”
- Lying over their need for extra money. “I need extra money for rent/an emergency.”
- “I’m clean.” This is a common lie for addicts who relapse on their healing journey.
What can be done about this?
It’s important to approach these situations with empathy, recognizing that dishonesty might be a sign of a bigger underlying problem or a cry for help.
Parents of addicts can help their children by fostering open communication, calmly assuring them that you are there for them and do not judge them.
If your family member, spouse, workmate, or friend is fighting addiction and you suspect they are caught up in their lies to cover their tracks, encouraging them to see a therapist or enroll in a rehabilitation program would set them up for recovery.
It is crucial to steer clear of addiction shame and present a supportive front that will encourage the addict, letting them know you are committed to seeing them through their recovery no matter how long it takes.
